An essay I did for school on faith - Miscellaneous - http://maxpages.com/absolutecrap/Faith

How Do You Describe Your Faith?

When you posed this question to the class, I was very surprised, because that is the question that has been haunting me for quite a while, and just when I think I have decided, a new person or thing comes into my life that changes the answer completely. I spent much of the past few days contemplating what I have faith in, and after much careful consideration, I have come to what I guess could be considered a conclusion. Throughout this essay I will talk about my personal experience with what faith means to me, what influences what I have faith in, and even how it has changed through time.

I never really thought about faith for most of my life, I just assumed that because everyone is always talking about God (especially the ministers on late night infomercials) that that is the person I have faith in. I have never really had a horrible event happen in my family, like death or tragedy, that would make me think about what higher power to turn to, so I never thought about what I had faith in. In the last year or so, I have started to question the God that I was brought up to believe in, and exploring my struggles with what to believe and what to trust.

It seems like everyone is expected to have some God that they believe in, and I think that everyone does. I think that all of the people who belong to the religions based on the Bible personalize God in their own individual way so that he is a figure they can relate to. I tried to do that, to make myself believe that I could trust this God to take care of my worries, but somehow I just couldn’t. My mother said to me the other day “Well I’m sorry that you can’t have faith in something.” and I know that I do have faith in something, I just don’t know what it is. I don’t want to seem like a religious failure to my parents, but right now I can’t say that their is one particular God that I trust the way I trust my friends and family.

Recently there was a little incident in a mall parking lot where my car almost was involved in an accident, and I heard myself whisper “thank you!” after we avoided the crash. Who was I thanking? I assume that I was thanking the higher power that I have faith in, but then who would that be? Was it just a reaction, or proof that I do believe in something? I don’t consider myself an atheist, but I seem to have my own ideas about faith, religion, and things like heaven and hell (or reincarnation). I often joke with my friends that I should start my own religion, because of my radical ideas and theories, but I don’t see that happening.

For now, I’ll just have to be satisfied with my state of in-betweenness, and hope that as I grow and experience more, it will give me a better understanding of what I believe in. I think that I also might just be overanalyzing this whole issue, and that I should leave it be for a few years, and hopefully one day it will just come to me. One thing that I am sure of (maybe the only thing...) is that I will not be fulfilled only half-believing in any God. For me to have faith in something I must have complete trust that it will comfort me and that I would be incomplete without it. What people believe in has brought comfort in times of hardship to millions of men, women, and children all over the world for thousands of years, and I’m sure it will do the same for me one day.

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