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Have you ever wondered why we're all here? Why God created us? Why Tesco's cheese is so incredibly low-priced? Well now, it will all be explained by the one, the only...Flabnut! |
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In the beginning, there was nothing. Then there was the egg. Then the chicken. Then the man in the moon. And finally God. After being created, God didn't really have anything to do. In layman's terms, He was bored. So He thought to himself one day, "Why don't I, the all powerful God, create life?" And He did. And it was a huge and utter mistake. |
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You now know the reason life was created. But what about the universe? Well, three days before creating life, God had a rather bad cold. And, that same day, He sneezed, which triggered the Big Bang, which triggered the creation of the universe. Now, when He sneezed, He was counting the hairs on His beard out of boredom. He'd got to 41, and as He said '42', He sneezed. So 42 really is the meaning of life! |
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To celebrate the wonder of life, here's some Ping Pong!
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It's 3-1 to the walking legs of ham! |
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And now to answer some meaningful questions: Is the Loch Ness monster real? - Yes, it's the Jolly Green Giant's bathtoy he lost a few hundred years ago. Does the Yeti exist? - Yes, but it's a clone of Vanessa Felts. Who will be the 21st Doctor? - I think it will be Michael Winners (calm down dear, it's just a dalek). And there you are. |
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Is there a Heaven and Hell? The answer: Yes. Heaven is a marvellous place, where cherubs are butlers, George Harrison is the Prime Minister (much to John Lennon's disappointment) and Dolly the sheep is the top fashion designer of the year. Hell is a ruthless place where gremlins churn unholy butter, Hitler has his brains eaten by angry lizards and Genghis Khan runs a travel agency (even though you can't go three millimetres anywhere without being prodded in the back by a flaming poke). And the devil...let's not go THAT far! |
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Want to travel through time? Well, all you have to do is close your eyes, count to ten, and open your eyes. See? You've travelled through time ten seconds! |
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Who the heck's Hugh Jackman?! |
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The five steps on how to avoid Hell: 1. Obey the Ten Commandments. 2. Avoid the seven deadly sins. 3. Eat a lot of corn now and then. 4. Don't solve too many maths problems. 5. Avoid the seven deadly food substances: Lettuce, Tripe, Orange Peel, Chocolate Pie, Roughly Picked Grapes, Dog Food and Banana Flavoured Ham. Testify! |
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That was all about The Meaning Of Life. Before we go, we'd like to give you just a bit more information: The five funny, witty AND holy phrases are:Wood Up! , Woa!, Yeah!, Oh My Goodness! and Taddly-Doodles! Churches really are God's house, so don't think otherwise! Eating yoghurt is the best way to cure a craving for yoghurt! Flabnut rules! For more information on the Meaning of Life, watch Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life (15). If you have any more questions, contact me at gofobbin@hotmail.co.uk!
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Award for the holiest page on 4RENTAL
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